My Perspectives About How Friends Impact Our Lives
“Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.” -Madison Alcedo
There are a lot of times my friends have been there for me, and they’ve literally made me understand that the word family is not only when one is related by “blood” but by “LOVE” which is not shaken.
There is a saying that goes “you attract who you are” and I believe it is true to some extent although they may be some few expectancies to it and also, I have never seen or heard of someone who made it in life all by himself or herself, which brings me to this point “in one way or the other, you continue to meet people”. Some will happen to be your friends for long, while some are just there for the main time. Whatever their duration, they determine 50% of your success.
Let me take you through my journey….
We all know how difficult it is to overcome the dilemma of unemployment whether by being employed or moving into entrepreneurship.
I started by taking freelancing offers but it wasn’t just enough. After searching for a job for some time, I got very tired and was almost giving up, but I was always uplifted up in my spirit any time I was with my friends or talking to my friends. Not to mention some were in the same shoes with me while some were in a better situation.
I could boldly say at that present moment, my family wasn’t there for me. It was more like they were just there which I understood them perfectly because what they were facing was more than what I was facing as at that time. So, my main source of hope was God and those He has made me encounter to be my friends.
After trying and going for several interviews, I got very tired but there was this one more interview left which I had given up on already but my friends kept pushing me to make sure I go for this last one. In fact, for every opportunity, they would always tell me one more.
A day before the interview considering the fact that I had no money on me, a friend sent money to me and told me that this one would click and I was like why are so sure about this interview? and his words were “just go.” Because of my reluctance, I was late for the interview, and to meet up with the time, I had to fly a bike from home to a very long distance on an express road.
And what I was thinking throughout the journey was “what if I had an accident?” because it was so obvious that what I did was very dangerous but thank God all through the journey I was listening to a sermon which was also recommended by another friend. This sermon has changed my perspective on life. It gave me hope and took me out of depression and guess what, that was the best job for me then because everything worked out well so easily even though I waited for almost a month before resuming and even in those times of waiting, it was still my friends who were there for me.
I was hoping for an intern for the job because I had no experience whatsoever and was even new to the career but I got more than that and the position I was given got me scared. I had no problem with traffic and as such, I got to the office on time.
One way or the other my boss happened to stay around where I was living and he was always bringing me back home which saved me some money. Isn’t that amazing?
I had plenty of time to myself and my speed of growth in the career increased because I had to catch up with a lot of stuff. This was a big win for me as at then considering the state I was and the state at which my family was passing through.
There was another scene when I was serving my country, one of my friends introduced me to an opportunity to help me in my new career. I got the opportunity but it was a very tough one to get certified especially because It was time-bound and I did something that could have caused me hundreds of thousands for free.
During that time, I was always encouraged by him because it was somehow looking impossible to achieve considering the time. I gave up so many times but was always encouraged so many times (I give up easily when things are not working out lol, please don’t tell anyone, it’s a secret between us).
In this small journey of mine, you will notice that what I kept saying was “my friends did this or that.” This is to tell you how your friends can either mar or make your life.
There is another saying that goes “you should choose your friends.” Most times it doesn’t work that way because there are many times those who you love to choose aren’t choosing you but whoever your friends are, they are a reflection of you; meaning what you are, you attract.
If you are a bad person, you attract more bad people most times. You might not agree with this because you don’t see the bad in you but in other people most times. This means that if you have friends who are not always there for you most times or you have friends who are only concerned about getting something from you, then it literally means that’s just the way you are to an extent.
For example, I’ve seen people who were always complaining about not having loyal friends and I just smile because what it literally means is that you’ve not also been loyal. In fact, some had concluded that they don’t have friends but acquaintances or some will say they don’t have best of friends, they are just there. Well, I do have the best of friends and they have always been best of all things to me.
Now the question is what could be the way forward in this?
- Carry out self-reflection. You need to reflect and ask yourself questions. If you happen to always encounter bad friends then you need to find out what bad attitudes or character you possess.
Just like the saying that goes “opportunity comes but once” likewise our friends. Many of us have used our bad attitude and reluctance to change to chase away good friends. When they see that you are of bad influence to them or you keep hurting them without an attitude to change, they tend to move away from you for their own good.
2. Value. Your value attracts things to you. What you place your value on is what comes back to you. You see this life is just full of principles and once you play along with those principles and have patience, they come out to play well for you.
The question you should ask yourself is what value am I placing into people lives? Am I the type known for always joking around every time? Because trust me only those that joke around will also come towards you or are you the type who wants to see people grow and become the better version of themselves? You alone can decide the kind of value you place in their life.
3. How well do you celebrate those that have been good to you? My friends can testify how well I celebrate them so much in the little way I can, which can be embarrassing for them sometimes, lol. I call it celebrational embarrassment lol.
How well do you show enough appreciation to the little things people do for you? Trust me, they do take note of these things. In fact, how well they see your gratitude towards them determines the rate at which they would want to help you next time. Now I’m not trying to say they are entitled to it but humanly speaking, showing gratitude goes a long way.
I have helped numerous people through my skills and I keep getting hurt by the way people took the things I did for them for granted and only a few knew how important they were and the funniest thing is that it was only those few I kept rendering help to for a very long time.
It is the things that you count so trivial that matters the more. I do tell people if someone gives you money, no matter how little it is, please appreciate them like you will do if it was something very big. The fact that they gave you means they cherish you because come to think of it, they don’t owe you anything whatsoever.
I’ve got people who were always sending me job offers even after I got a job. Some were very small compare to what I do but I take my time to appreciate them. It means they have me at heart and that is enough for me whether big or small. Trust me a lot of people have lost so many helpers in form of friends due to lack of appreciation.
4. How well do you check on your friends? I’ve met people who say I check on my friends only when they check on me, lol. This will only give you selfish friends. What I do most times any time my heart draws to a particular person is that I either send a message or call them immediately neglecting the fact that I’ve always been the one doing it. In fact my heart does not allow me to rest due to this and most times when I do call, it’s always because, at that present time, they needed help and afterwards I will be very glad I did.
There are more but I’ll like to stop here for now and conclude by saying friends are God’s gift to show us He loves us. I don’t know if you’ve ever wondered at the length some people will go for you, length at which even your blood relation will get tired of. My favourite preacher calls them burden bearers and more also by default, you just have to let go of some people not because they are bad but because their mission in your life at that present moment is complete. I am not the type that says “long-distance makes you lose friends”. No. It just means their time with you have just elapsed.
And most times we tend to fight it and categorize them as bad friends instead of accepting the fact. You just have to let go and maybe later in life you guys can be closer friends and if that doesn’t happen, you get to cherish every moment spent.
To all my close pals, you guys rock mehn and I pray to never let you guys down and step by step we are getting there…
